Setting boundaries in relationships feels uncomfortable.
We worry about seeming selfish. We fear hurting others. We tell ourselves that keeping the peace is better than creating tension.
But here’s the truth – boundaries are not about shutting people out.
They’re about staying connected without losing yourself.
1. People avoid boundaries because they fear conflict.
Many clients tell us, “I don’t want to upset them” or “It feels selfish to say no.”
But not speaking up almost always turns into passive-aggressiveness or checking out.
Unspoken needs don’t stay quiet—they show up as stress.
The myth we need to challenge:
Setting boundaries isn’t about being mean or cutting people out. It’s about speaking your truth so clearly that everyone knows where they stand.
Saying no is kinder than saying yes and feeling bitter.
2. Feeling small in a relationship is a red flag
If a relationship constantly drains you—emotionally, mentally, or physically—it might be time to reassess.
When we “make ourselves small” to keep the peace, it steals energy from the people who do nourish us.
Toxic relationships are not just painful—they crowd out the good ones.
3. Boundaries need tools, not just courage.
We help clients use practical skills like DBT’s GIVE (Gentle, Interested, Validate, Easy Manner) communication strategy to safely express needs.
Boundaries don’t have to be confrontational. They can be calm and even empowering.
Healthy communication creates trust. Trust makes growth possible.
When changes happens…
At first, there’s pushback. People are used to the old dance, and change feels uncomfortable.
But then something beautiful happens—the relationship gets honest. Real communication opens up. Both people start expressing their actual needs instead of tiptoeing around unspoken expectations.
Even in great relationships, people struggle with saying no. But setting boundaries clarifies expectations and deepens trust.
Speaking your truth won’t always be easy, but it’s always more loving than silence.
If your relationships feel off—even the ones you care most about—we’re here at Crosstown Psychology to help you navigate the next step with clarity and compassion.
#boundaries #relationships #mentalhealth
Navigating mental health concerns and life stressors can be overwhelming, but you don’t have to do it alone. Discover tailored therapy that provides actionable strategies to ease your anxiety and help you find balance. Take the first step—contact our Toronto psychology clinic today.
